Student Killed by Fire Hydrant Explosion

James Wittinger, age 17, was killed last night when a fire hydrant exploded and fatally wounded him. Water shot from the ruptured hydrant with such intense propulsion that Wittinger's innards were blasted out of his body and into the street. His entire ribcage was dislodged in the accident, rendering his body almost totally flattened.

Wittinger is remembered as a handsome, charming young man with a passion for biology.